Chayeh Sarah 2020
Isaac’s Parsha Corner · 2020
In chapter 24 the Torah dedicates 64 verses to the story of how Rebecca became Isaac’s wife. (The creation of the universe (Genesis Ch 1) is covered in 31 verses!) One thing not explained is why Isaac was unable to find his own partner. Why did Abraham send Eliezer out on a spouse searching mission? Shouldn’t Isaac have made that choice! Even Adam was given a few choices leading up to his final selection. It is noteworthy that Hagar similarly chose a wife for Ishmael and also from her homeland. “And she (Hagar) took a wife for him from the land of Egypt.” (Ch 21 v 21) Abraham, by sending Ishmael away, lost influence over that selection. Both of Abraham’s children were provided with a spouse and both from the family homeland. Isaac’s came from Aram Naharayim and Ishmael’s wife came from Egypt. It’s altogether possible that, given the choice, both of Abraham’s sons would have chosen local Canaanite women. That was apparently unacceptable to both Abraham and to Hagar so a mission to the homeland was in order. After the death of Sarah, Abraham married Keturah. They had six children together. These children might have married local Canaanite girls. To avoid this eventuality “and he sent the son’s of his secondary wives (Pilagshim) away from Isaac his son east to the land of Kedem” (Ch 28 v6), which many understand to mean the land of Aram Naharayim, Abraham’s homeland. The marriage to the out of town women was important because both Abraham and Hagar wanted to avoid becoming another Canaanite tribe. Both wanted clear lines of family succession so as to be able to fulfill the promise of “to your children I will give this land.” We understand the decision to choose a wife on behalf of Isaac and Ishmael as part of a fulfillment of a prophetic promise.
Another way to see the story is to focus on the divine involvement in the choice of Rebecca. The problem with giving Isaac that choice is that Isaac would not have made the proper choice. We see in Parshat Toldos that Isaac had a problem with choices especially when choices involve his own family. Isaac preferred Esau over Jacob! This was contrary to God’s wishes. Rebecca had a much clearer picture of her children. Her choice was in line with God’s wishes. Abraham recognized this quality in his own son Isaac and took care to provide for Isaac a spouse who would fix Isaac’s mistakes. Rebecca fulfilled the role of “Ezer Kenegdo” a helpful contrarian. The point is emphasized very clearly at the end of the story. There Rebecca was given the choice by her family. “And they said, let us call the girl and ask her. And they called Rebecca and asked her “will you go with this man?” And she said “I will go!” It must have been a difficult choice for so young a girl. God recognized this quality and sent Isaac a clear thinking young woman to help him on his life journey. “And he took Rebecca and she was for him a wife. And he loved her”.
Dedicated to the memory of Joel Shulman AH